I am learning to hold my own hand. To sit in the still moments and listen to the softness that lies between the bustle of the day.
When I was in high school, I read of rules and methods to draw people, specifically a potential date, to yourself. Very rarely though, was I shown how to love myself.
Not love yourself in a conceited way, but in a, “You can still be enough, even if there is no significant other in your life,” way. That was simply never an option. So, I let my opinion of myself hinge on others opinions of myself. Mistake number one.
Mistake number two was letting others happiness create a void in me. I began to grow into this jealous, self conscious, anxious person. Was I not pretty enough? Not funny enough? Not smart or popular enough? Why was seemingly everyone in a relationship except for me? I can’t honestly say I have an answer to those questions. It just never happened. I wasn’t anyone’s type and that’s that.
But I can say that being single hasn’t stopped me from loving every moment possible. Laughing with friends, writing, cooking, reading, walks along the water(still very romantic,) and sitting in the small moments to listen to the hum of my own heart.
There’s a bliss to every moment if you look close enough. Be it together, or alone, it’s there.